I’ve often heard the phrase, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” But as I’ve walked through my own losses and medical setbacks, I’ve come to see it differently. Instead of feeling like comparison steals my joy, seeing others’ blessings actually gives me hope. If God can bless them, then I know He can do the same for me. This perspective has been helpful, even in unexpected places—like when you see people in the workplace getting ahead (even the ones who don’t seem to deserve it!).
We’re all surrounded by other people’s success stories, especially on social media. Whether it’s a new job, a promotion, or, in the case of fertility, a baby—it’s easy to see the highlight reels without considering the process behind the results.
After my first pregnancy loss, it felt like everyone else around me was getting pregnant and having healthy babies. I questioned myself constantly, wondering why my body wasn’t doing what it was “supposed” to do. As I shared in my article ""The Balancing Act: Productivity and Fertility Challenges"" (posted on 5.15.24), I buried myself in work to prove I was still valuable and productive. But as I opened up to more people, I started to realize that the stories I was seeing often left out the messy middle—the struggles people don’t always talk about.
That’s when I made a decision: I wasn’t going to let comparison steal my peace anymore. I began believing that my own success was on its way and that I’d have my own story to tell in time. In the meantime, I decided to protect my heart by stepping back from social media and setting healthier boundaries. Here’s what worked for me:
Limit Social Media Use: I set a timer for how long I’d spend on social media. It’s so easy to get sucked in, but putting a limit on it helped me protect my peace.
Curate Your Feed: I muted or unfollowed accounts that made me feel anxious or frustrated. Instead, I started following accounts that uplifted me and reminded me to keep moving forward on my own journey.
Be Selective About Events: Sometimes, it’s okay to say no to events that feel too overwhelming. If I did go, I’d bring a friend for support or stay just long enough to show love, and then leave. You don’t have to compromise your mental health for anyone.
As I’ve learned to focus on my own journey and set boundaries, I’ve found a better way to handle those pregnancy announcements. If you’re going through this too, remember: it’s okay to protect your peace, take your time, and trust that your story is still being written. Your time will come.