If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, did it use its fertility benefit?
LOL. That probably feels like a stretch of a metaphor—but I mean it. Because when it comes to fertility and family-building benefits, visibility is everything.
During a job search, most people are looking at three things: cash, culture, and coverage. The weight of each depends on life stage, but recruiters know how to pitch the latest and greatest benefits—shiny new perks, generous policies, and flexible packages.
The problem? Once someone joins the company, those shiny offerings suddenly become hard to find.
At every job I’ve had, I focused on the basics: paid time off, vacation, holidays, dental and health insurance. As I got older, I paid more attention to copays and deductible amounts. At one point, I even compared the pros and cons of a Health Savings Account versus a Flexible Spending Account.
Then came my first life event: I got married. Honestly, we were in a bit of a panic at the time (shoutout to our unexpected jet ski accident), so I just picked whatever benefits would keep us covered within the 30-day window.
But even as I matured, I still didn’t think to ask about fertility and family-building benefits. Why? Because hardly anyone talks about them—and in many companies, they’re buried on page 47 of a 200-page onboarding packet.
When my husband and I realized we would need medical intervention to grow our family, it took me three days of digging through internal systems and outdated links to even locate the fertility benefit policy. And then, two years later, I stumbled upon a Slack channel full of employees sharing stories, venting frustrations, and supporting each other through their fertility journeys.
My first post? “I have been at this company over 2 years LOOOKING/HOPING for this group. My goodness.”
It blew my mind. Not only did this group exist—but I had no idea. And I wasn’t alone. Many people responded saying it took them just as long to find it. I scrolled through the thread and saw familiar names and colleagues who, like me, were navigating a deeply personal and emotionally taxing experience in silence—until they found each other.
But here's the thing: I wouldn’t have found this group without opening my mouth.
The shame, stigma, and embarrassment of needing science to start our family made it harder to speak up. And that shame delayed my access to critical resources and to community.
It’s no wonder people stay quiet—we’ve been whispering about fertility benefits for so long, it’s become the norm. An employee resource group (ERG) existed—but no one mentioned it during onboarding, training, or open enrollment.
So how do we fix this? If fertility benefits and ERGs exist, they need to be known, accessible, and actively supported. Here are three changes that could make a huge difference:
Talk About It During Open Enrollment: Fertility benefits and internal support groups should be shared as clearly and frequently as other perks—so employees don’t have to dig through PDFs or whisper in hallways to find them.
Assign a Clear Point of Contact for Questions: If there are Slack threads and reps for dental coverage complaints, there can be someone responsible for stewarding fertility-related conversations and answering benefit questions.
Create a Transparent Resource Guide—With the Fine Print: Don’t just list benefits. Share the real experiences, known loopholes, and what to look out for.
After our fifth IVF consultation, we finally found a doctor we loved—only to learn that my employer’s fertility plan didn’t cover them. I was livid.
Later, we found a postpartum doula we adored. She was eligible... until a policy update 16 days before our due date disqualified her. These are not the kinds of surprises employees should face while building their families.
We can do better.
Employee resource groups shouldn’t be hidden gems. They should be front-and-center, with the same energy and clarity we give to every other major benefit.
What are other ways you imagine employee resource groups could help support fertility journeys? I’d love to hear.